Plahtonik taught us that the poor laborer in merry olde London had to live on the East end, with its narrow streets and soot from all the factories he had to toil in day after day. Mr. VM also taught us that the bourgoise enjoyed the best in the world from parks to theater to food. Never did a capitalist suffer from housemaids knee, or was she subjected to mustard plasters to treat the black lung. Kids growing up with Uncle Lenin and Joe wore fun pioneer uniforms, vacationed by the sea. Our parents spent the day smiling as the sold bread at the store or turned whatever turners turn. Those were the days...
V.M. and any Бабусья or дидусья may sing the praises of the days of the ISM but it seems that the folks at Harding Colllege saw through Mr. Marx, Uncle Lenin and Old Joe's sales pitch. That ISM was just snake oil...
Wouldn't it have been better if we waged the Cold War only with cheesy cartoons instead of bombs, missiles and stupid wars? It also seems that Mr. John Q. Public was absent about 7 years ago when we sold away our freedom to fight a so-called ISM. Harding College where were you then?
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Divans Be Gone!
Ukrainians line up to replace uniform and sturdy Soviet furniture, for globally uniform Ikea crap.
By Michael Phatel, Lifestyle Editor
Traveling in Ukraine, and more particularly hosting at Ukrainian apartments reminds me of a Yogi Bera quote, "It's deja vu, all over again." Apartments in Ukraine and elsewhere in the Former Soviet Union seem to have been decorated by the same designer, Ludmilla "Built Like a Shafa" Katinsky. Due to an organized and planned economy Soviet homemakers were spared the tedious task of watching hours of HGTV, or perusing design magazines. There was no Marta Stewartski telling every Natalia that her home could look better with a leather, tufted sofa and drapes done in a late Czarist-Empire style. She was able to relax in the luxury of no choice. Just like Henry Ford and his pronouncement that you could choose the color of your model T as long as it was black, the Politburo allowed Soviets to choose their furniture as long as it was the same.
Today, the quaintness of a lacquered, brown shafa/entertainment center and velour, patterned divan are a pleasant reminder of the good old days. Friends don't need to ever remind each other to make themselves at home when visiting for tea, because well it is just like home. The monied days of the immediate post-revolution Ukraine brought on a tidal wave of 'Euro-Remonts'. Truth be told, there was nothing Euro about any of these remonts. What it brought was tastless, modern Russian interpretations of old Soviet-styled furniture. Gone were Babas chatshkis and unread sets of books an in their place were nudy stemware and pirated dvds. While it was new, it still felt familiar. Like a face lift, not so much a face transplant. The apartment may not look exactly the same but underneath the new velour print you knew you were sitting on a divan, and that hip new shafa was still packed with the same crap.
Well, it is about to all disappear. It seems that Sweden has had enough of this tackiness and nostalgia. It is sending in the big guns. Ikea, the big blue box of big box stores is arriving in Ukraine this year (probably more like next year with how 'swiftly' things happen in the old country). Soon, gone will be the divan and the shafa. In their place will be a melamine BJARNUM and matching set of red EKTORP chairs accented by a STJORBUNG lamp. Yes folks, Ukraine will soon shed all that is familar for what is universal. Soon Ivan and Vika will run from the wedding chapel to Ikea to replace that nice and sturdy 30 year old shafa for a BILLY that will fail them quicker than the Verhovna Rada.
I guess that old addage is true, the more things change the more they stay the same. The next time you fly over to visit your Baba and host fam, Ukraine will be the same. The only difference is that it will be the same as every other place in the world. Full of globally sourced, and globally sold flimsy, plastic furniture. They are paving over a Soviet paradise and putting up a parking lot for Ikea. I bet they'll put all those Shafas in a Shafa museum and charge all of us a rouble just to see 'em.
By Michael Phatel, Lifestyle Editor
Traveling in Ukraine, and more particularly hosting at Ukrainian apartments reminds me of a Yogi Bera quote, "It's deja vu, all over again." Apartments in Ukraine and elsewhere in the Former Soviet Union seem to have been decorated by the same designer, Ludmilla "Built Like a Shafa" Katinsky. Due to an organized and planned economy Soviet homemakers were spared the tedious task of watching hours of HGTV, or perusing design magazines. There was no Marta Stewartski telling every Natalia that her home could look better with a leather, tufted sofa and drapes done in a late Czarist-Empire style. She was able to relax in the luxury of no choice. Just like Henry Ford and his pronouncement that you could choose the color of your model T as long as it was black, the Politburo allowed Soviets to choose their furniture as long as it was the same.
Today, the quaintness of a lacquered, brown shafa/entertainment center and velour, patterned divan are a pleasant reminder of the good old days. Friends don't need to ever remind each other to make themselves at home when visiting for tea, because well it is just like home. The monied days of the immediate post-revolution Ukraine brought on a tidal wave of 'Euro-Remonts'. Truth be told, there was nothing Euro about any of these remonts. What it brought was tastless, modern Russian interpretations of old Soviet-styled furniture. Gone were Babas chatshkis and unread sets of books an in their place were nudy stemware and pirated dvds. While it was new, it still felt familiar. Like a face lift, not so much a face transplant. The apartment may not look exactly the same but underneath the new velour print you knew you were sitting on a divan, and that hip new shafa was still packed with the same crap.
Well, it is about to all disappear. It seems that Sweden has had enough of this tackiness and nostalgia. It is sending in the big guns. Ikea, the big blue box of big box stores is arriving in Ukraine this year (probably more like next year with how 'swiftly' things happen in the old country). Soon, gone will be the divan and the shafa. In their place will be a melamine BJARNUM and matching set of red EKTORP chairs accented by a STJORBUNG lamp. Yes folks, Ukraine will soon shed all that is familar for what is universal. Soon Ivan and Vika will run from the wedding chapel to Ikea to replace that nice and sturdy 30 year old shafa for a BILLY that will fail them quicker than the Verhovna Rada.
I guess that old addage is true, the more things change the more they stay the same. The next time you fly over to visit your Baba and host fam, Ukraine will be the same. The only difference is that it will be the same as every other place in the world. Full of globally sourced, and globally sold flimsy, plastic furniture. They are paving over a Soviet paradise and putting up a parking lot for Ikea. I bet they'll put all those Shafas in a Shafa museum and charge all of us a rouble just to see 'em.
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